Crocs are the worst shoes to ever exist. 

They’re shapeless, noisy and, quite frankly, ugly. These qualities should be the opposite of what you look for in footwear, but half our school population still chooses to wear Crocs. Their persistent popularity appalls me. I thought they would die out quickly after their 2020 resurgence, but clearly, that has not happened yet. 

Sure, they’re low effort and low maintenance, but I would rather take the extra minute out of my day lacing up stylish and functional shoes than wear what is essentially a hollow blob of plastic on my feet. 

Now, some Croc fanatics might argue they’re not plastic and as a result would be better for the environment.

I hear you. According to Crocs, crocs are made of a trademarked material, Croslite. This may lead you to believe that crocs are good for the environment, but according to goodonyou.eco, Crocs “[do] not use eco-friendly materials,” and scienceline.org says “the shoes will eventually end up in a landfill, and bio-based doesn’t necessarily mean biodegradable.” 

Eco fiends, you heard it here. They are not biodegradable, so let’s stop letting them degrade our fashion. 

Not only are they bad for the environment, they’re bad for humans too. Even in “sport mode,” Crocs aren’t going to save you from foot problems or a stern talking to from the PE teacher. In fact, they actually can make foot problems worse. According to anklefootmd.com, Crocs lack ankle, arch and heel support. They’re unstable and make you prone to tripping. 

Crocs don’t love you back. They won’t be there for you when you fall down the express stairs or when you’re parking on Hillside in the rain. It’s time to cut them out of our lives. 

Lastly…the dreaded “Croc tan” as a result of the horrendous holes in the Crocs. I have recurring nightmares about it. When I’m supposed to be enjoying my summer away from tests and homework, I am battered by the traumatizing sight of half-tanned feet dotted with dark polka-dots. 

I thought measles were eradicated, but “Croc-pox” should be the next thing WHO has to look out for. Let’s hope it’s not another pandemic. 

Hopefully, fall will bring temperatures that will eradicate these abominations from my sight. But until the Croc-lovers come to their senses, I will never escape.