Jersey or nah?

Megan Troke, Editorial Editor

“Everything is legal in New Jersey,” muses Lin-Manuel Miranda in his hit musical chronicling the life of Alexander Hamilton. Both he and his son Philip are killed in separate duels on the shores of Jersey. The only rules that applied were the “10 Duel Commandments.”

Fast forward some 200-odd years to a different Jersey shore where the tradition of lawlessness is held up in the classic MTV show, “Jersey Shore.” Although they didn’t have pistols, they still managed to have fights that were arguably more iconic and historically important than either of the Hamiltons’ deaths. Spray tans, frequenting at Club Karma and over teased/gelled hair were the only regulations that had to be followed.

At Central, wearing someone’s jersey carries a lot of weight and is accompanied with far more regulations than the state of New Jersey. Ahead, I have complied a rule book that includes recommended protocol as well as answers to common questions about how it works.

If you are pondering the question “Should I ask them to wear my jersey?” there are a few guidelines and questions you should ask yourself before asking someone else. 

Are you interested in this person in a more than a friend way? Often times when a male requests that a female wears his jersey on game day it means that something is happening between the two parties. It’s a rite of passage. If he asks, then you know it’s real, that he likes you and he wants the school to know.

If yes, then shoot your shot.

If no, proceed with great caution. There’s obviously instances when it’s just a friendly gesture, but it’s vital that there is not any uncertainty in the air on whether or not the two parties are “just friends.” If there is any question, one party may get the wrong idea and both of you will not see eye to eye.

If yes, bring the other party your jersey to school that day. Notify them of the color, it may make a difference in the outfit they choose.

If no, pick yourself up. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they aren’t interested in you. They may have a presentation that day and most teachers would not accept a jersey as appropriate attire. If you are established as completely platonic, then obviously there are no hard feelings to be had.

Maybe you were expecting to be the recipient of a jersey and have come upon game day empty handed. Consider the following:

This person may have already committed to giving his/her jersey to somebody else and  in close knit groups it’s not uncommon to wear a friend’s jersey.

They aren’t interested in you. It might hurt to hear but not every pairing is destined to work out.

If you find yourself scanning the hallways on a given game day looking for jersey pairings and are wondering what they might mean, here are some options.

Somebody is repping and supporting their other half. They’re just friends, nothing else to be said here besides that it’s nice to have a cheerleader.

The pair in question is on the precipice of something, perhaps moving from the “talking” phase to “thing” territory or even taking the big step from “thing” to official.

Are you considering not asking somebody to wear your jersey, even though you probably should? This is another situation that should be handled with care. For couples who were previously thought to be established, the lack of a jersey speaks louder than its presence.

It can be perceived as a sign of a rough patch, the two parties at hand need some time to think about their relationship. In the worst case, the couple has terminated their devotion to each other.

Or maybe, just maybe, you don’t care at all about the narrow tightrope walk that is the jersey at Central. Yes, they are the least invasive form of PDA but at the end of the day why does it truly matter?

It’s just a piece of clothing. There shouldn’t be so many expectations and assumptions based on something that isn’t even fashionable.

If somebody asks you to wear their jersey, great, if not, get over it. It really is all meaningless.

These kinds of things are a little patriarchal and enforce a heterosexual-centric society. It’s often a guy asking a girl and people treating the act of wearing another person’s clothes like an engagement is a little too much for me.

Instead of all of these rules and regulations, I would much rather prefer to be on the other side of the Hudson River on Jersey’s shores, late 1700s or early 2000s, you pick, lying in wait for lawlessness to be my fate.