Braden Hajer, Copy Editor & Columnist
April 13, 2020
My fellow Americanss,
In this race, we’ve done something incredible. We’ve outlasted much of the competition and established ourselves as a force to be reckoned with. But recent polling numbers have been discouraging, and our fundraising growth has been suboptimal.
It is with a heavy heart and light pockets that...
Braden Hajer, Copy Editor & Columnist
March 15, 2020
If I had to, I could easily beat Bernie Sanders in a fight. I hold no animosity for Senator and Democratic presidential candidate Bernard “Bernie” Sanders, but were my hand to be forced, I would demolish him. If Bernie really thinks he could overpower me in a man-to-man tussle, he’s got a whole other thing coming.
Sizing...
Braden Hajer, Copy Editor & Columnist
February 20, 2020
I recently read Mary Schmich’s column in the Chicago Tribune on guiding words. The idea is that they’re words or short phrases that serve as constant reminders or inspiration for self-betterment. For 2020, Schmich chose “slower,” a way to calm herself in a world that moves at an ever-quickening pace. She also recommended...
Braden Hajer, Copy Editor & Columnist
December 17, 2019
Editors note: Braden's column is broken into three parts due to its length. Sections are marked so that readers may find part II if they have already read part I in print.
Part I: Transportation, Infrastructure and Mental Health
I am proud to announce that I, Braden Hajer, am running to be the 50th Pr...
Braden Hajer, Copy Editor & Columnist
November 21, 2019
An Asian entrepreneur is running for president and wants to give you $1,000 a month for the rest of your life. Despite running as a complete outsider and initial nobody, 44-year-old Andrew Yang has risen among the ranks of the saturated democratic field, bypassing multiple sitting senators.
If you haven’t heard of him before,...
Braden Hajer, Copy Editor & Columnist
November 12, 2019
Humanity has this bizarre obsession with frozen drink cubes. No liquid is satisfactory until it has been thoroughly saturated with The Cubes, regardless of its original temperature.
I hate these illusioned heralds of frosty pleasure.
You, the American people, are being deceived; Big Ice has brainwashed all of us....
Braden Hajer, Copy Editor, Columnist
October 1, 2019
I saw a Chicago Tribune article the other day about how teenage depression is on the rise, “and we don’t know why.” The article goes on to identify two culprits as the harbingers of mass anxiety: academic pressure and a lack of social interaction brought on by social media.
This diagnosis infuriates me on a fundamenta...
